Inside the Insane Mind
by MoonlightSpirit
Summary: The story of Azula's stay in an insane asylum after losing her mind during Sozin's Comet. The only thing keeping Azula partially sane is a song she had made up. Other than that, Azula has lost touch with reality. Songfic to 'Disturbia' by Rihanna.


**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :D It's my birthday today and I'm finally back from my cruise. I had put Rihanna's song **_**Disturbia **_**on my iPod before going on the cruise and while listening to it, I thought it was the perfect song for how Azula was during and after Sozin's Comet. Of course, I had to wait until I got back home to type it up. Here's **_**Inside the Insane Mind**_**.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.**

Atop the tallest and coldest mountain in the Fire Nation lay a Fire Nation insane asylum, dubbed _Disturbia _by Fire Nation citizens for it's unnerving appearance and eerie atmosphere. Each cell was made of metal and the size of a small room and kept cold so that no one was able to firebend. Most prisoners were to insane to even notice the cold. _Disturbia _was home to some of the most mentally disturbed people of the Fire Nation, including Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. After Sozin's Comet and the fall of her father, Azula had completely lost all touch of reality. She was found by Fire Nation guards, chained to a metal grate and screaming incoherent words, blue fire occasionally streaming from her mouth. It took almost twenty guards to subdue her and get her into a truck that would take her to _Disturbia_.

Four years later, Azula was still in _Disturbia_, sitting on the floor of her metal cell. She was wearing a simple red shirt with matching pants and flat shoes. Her hair was left out and grew down to her waist, hanging in front of her hair. Bandages covered her bloody knuckles. Her knuckles bled because every day she would sing a song that she had spent a year perfecting and while singing, she'd bang her knuckles against the wall of her cell in a rhythmic pattern. The coldness of the cell caused small ice crystals to form on the walls. But despite that, Azula would still bang against the walls. The song was the last thing that kept her partially sane. The song had started out with her just mumbling a beat under her breath:

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

Then she eventually added words to it. Words describing how she was feeling. The twisted, disturbing inner thoughts of her mind.

_What's wrong with me?_

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

_Why do I feel like this?_

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

Deep in her mind, Azula felt herself slipping from the world. She was slowly losing touch with reality. Sure, during Sozin's Comet she had begun to slip, but now it was worse. She would constantly hallucinate about her mother and start yelling at the hallucination, causing guards to stop and peek through the small rectangular window of her room to check on her and find her yelling at thin air. Other times, Azula could hear her father's voice in her head, telling her how she had failed him and Azula would curl up in the corner of her room, knees drawn up to her chest and rocking back and forth, mumbling apologizes to her dad under her breath with her hands over her ears and tears falling from her gold eyes. Gold eyes that now lost their malicious glint and instead had a crazed, animal like look in them. One of her worse hallucinations were seeing her brother, dressed in royal Fire Lord robes and taunting her, saying how mom always liked him best and thought she was just a monster. By listening to small snippets of conversation from guards, Azula had learned that Zuko had found their mother and she was now living in the Fire Nation Palace. She had even came to visit Azula from time to time, but Azula could hardly ever tell if it was really her mother or a hallucination. Was it a hallucination of her mother that occasionally brushed Azula's hair and held a conversation with her? Was it a hallucination of her mother that would tell Azula what was happening in the outside world? Was it a hallucination of her mother that told her Zuko had married the Water Tribe girl that traveled with the Avatar and the Avatar himself was dating a Fire Nation girl named On Ji that he had gone to school with? Azula could never tell the difference:

_I'm going crazy now_

_No more gas in the rear_

_  
Can't even get it started _

_  
Nothing heard, nothing said _

_  
Can't even speak about it _

_  
Out my life out my head _

_  
Don't want to think about it _

_  
Feels like I'm going insane _

_Yeah _

So Azula clung to her song, the only thing she had left that connected her to the sane world. Azula had a beautiful voice that rang through the metal walls of the prison, echoing off the walls. A few days after she began singing, a prisoner in the next cell clapped in rhythm with the song. Then the person in the next cell did the same. And the next cell, and the next and the next until almost all the cells in the prison were clapping, even though not all could hear Azula's voice, but instead followed the clapping. It was an action that puzzled all the guards. At the same time each day, Azula's voice would ring through the hallway.

_It's a thief in the night_

_  
To come and grab you _

_  
It can creep up inside you _

_  
And consume you _

_  
A disease of the mind _

_  
It can control you _

_  
It's too close for comfort_

When watching the small ice crystals sparkle against her walls, she sometimes thought she was back in the beautiful Fire Nation city. There were moments where she still thought she was princess and would completely forget where she was. Guards would look into her cell and sometimes see her strutting around, barking orders to thin air.

_  
Put on your break lights _

_  
We're in the city of wonder _

_  
Ain't gonna play nice _

_  
Watch out, you might just go under _

_  
Better think twice _

Sometimes, guards themselves ended up prisoners in _Disturbia_. Listening to the insane mumblings of the prisoners would 'cause them to lose their own minds. Being in _Disturbia _was like being in a horror movie. Sometimes, prisoners would let out blood curdling screams, thinking they were being attacked and guards would rush to the room to calm them. _Disturbia _was not for the weak at heart. Those were the one that eventually ended up as crazy as the prisoners they were suppose to be watching.

_  
Your train of thought will be altered_

_  
So if you must falter be wise _

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
It's like the darkness is the light _

_  
Disturbia _

What Azula enjoyed the most about _Disturbia _was the new guards that did not know of her song. She would look out the small rectangle window attached to her door, a window so small that only her eyes showed. Azula liked watching the frightened look on the new guards faces as they heard her sing and would look straight at them with her crazed gold eyes. The new guard would stand there for a moment and stare back as if trying to explain to themselves why Azula was singing.

_  
Am I scaring you tonight?_

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
Ain't used to what you like _

_  
Disturbia _

_  
Disturbia_

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

Azula often saw pictures in the frosted ice on her wall. Pictures in the shape of her mother, father, brother, uncle, Lo and Li. The pictures would move, scolding Azula for her behaviour. There were moments when Azula felt the need to just leave _Disturbia_. She'd bang her fists against the metal walls, shouting at people to let her out. Other times, she would sit on her small bed and wonder how she got where she was. Growing up, Azula always got what she wanted and things always went her way. Now everything was going downhill for her. She suspected it started when Mai and Ty Lee betrayed her. How could her two best friends betray her?

_Faded pictures on the wall_

_  
It's like they talkin' to me _

_  
Disconnectin' phone calls _

_  
The phone don't even ring _

_  
I gotta get out _

_  
Or figure this shit out _

_  
It's too close for comfort_

_It's a thief in the night_

_To come and grab you _

_It can creep up inside you _

_And consume you _

_A disease of the mind _

_It can control you _

_I feel like a monster_

_Put on your break lights_

_  
We're in the city of wonder _

_  
Ain't gonna play nice _

_  
Watch out, you might just go under _

_  
Better think twice _

_  
Your train of thought will be altered _

_  
So if you must falter be wise _

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
It's like the darkness is the light _

_  
Disturbia _

_  
Am I scaring you tonight?_

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
Ain't used to what you like _

_  
Disturbia _

_  
Disturbia_

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

A routine began after Azula sung. Now everyday, a guard would come and take her to the infirmary to get fresh bandages. Today's guard was a new one. Azula could tell by the slightly scared look on his face as he watched her sing. Azula staggered over to him and he held her wrist, leading her to the infirmary. It was hard to see what the guard looked like with his armor on, but Azula could see his narrow gold eyes, pointed pale face and black hair. He was about her age. Azula sung in a quiet voice:

_Release me from this curse I'm in_

_  
Trying to remain tame _

_  
But I'm struggling _

_  
If you can go, go, go _

_  
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh _

Azula fell to her knees, the hallway spinning. The guard bent down to held her up, but jumped back when Azule threw up. He waited until she was done before helping her back up, letting her lean against him for support. Azula wiped her mouth on the back of her sleeve and still sung in a strong voice:

_Put on your break lights_

_  
We're in the city of wonder _

_  
Ain't gonna play nice _

_  
Watch out, you might just go under _

_  
Better think twice _

_  
Your train of thought will be altered _

_  
So if you must falter be wise _

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
It's like the darkness is the light _

_  
Disturbia _

Azula looked over at the guard, who was looking at her warily, probably not wanting her to throw up on him and a bit scared to why she was still singing. Azula gave him a lopsided smile. He gave her a small smile back, patting her back lightly as she swayed. Despite how she felt, Azula still sung in a strong voice:

_  
Am I scaring you tonight?_

_  
Your mind is in disturbia _

_  
Ain't used to what you like _

_  
Disturbia_

_  
Disturbia _

_Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

_  
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum _

With her song done, Azula collapsed on the ground. The guard bent over to help her up, but when he picked her up, Azula didn't move. She lay limp in his arms. She was cold and her face paler than usual. The guard checked for a pulse on Azula's neck, but there wasn't one. He bent down and put his ears to her lips, but heard no breath escape her lips. He picked her up bridal style and rushed her too the infirmary. The doctor there declared her dead. Azula's mental state was just too much and caused her whole body to give out.

Fire Lord Zuko was immediately informed of his sister's death. Despite how his sister treated him, Zuko set up a huge funeral for Azula. It was the type Azula would of liked. Big and fancy and she was getting plenty of attention. Zuko's father was even allowed to attend the funeral, heavily guarded of course, even though he no longer had his bending abilities. Everyone watched as Azula's body was cremated. Her ashes were put in a gold jar with red dragons and placed in an elaborately decorated room with the ashes of everyone in the royal family.

Even as the years passed, Azula was still remembered. Remembered as the most powerful and influential princess the Fire Nation ever had. Remembered for slowly declining into insanity after being betrayed by her best friends. Remembered for living in an insanity that eventually killed her. Remembered for her song that gave everyone a look inside the insane mind. To this day, people say that the guards of _Disturbia _can still hear Azula's eerily beautiful voice echo through the halls.

**There's **_**Inside the Insane Mind**_**. I'll update my other stories soon. Please Review!**


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